Jesus - A Counceling Session in One Act

JESUS: The pressure on me, man, it’s just so overwhelming. Jesus constantly wrings fingers while talking. Everywhere I go, eyes are on me. Watching my every move.

THERAPIST: And how does that make you feel?

JESUS: It’s making me a nervous wreck. I think I’m going bald – look. He leans forward to show top of scalp, however, no bald spot is visible. I can’t do anything without considering the repercussions. Heck, I can’t even speed on the interstate. Is that a sin? Is breaking a law designed by mortal man a sin? I don’t know, doc? I just don’t know? And He won’t tell me shhh – Jesus stops, recalculates his phrasing, nothing. He won’t tell me nothing. Jesus lowers his voice, turns and looks over his shoulder. He’s so detached.

THERAPIST: And how does that make you feel?

JESUS: Unloved.

THERAPIST: Interesting.

JESUS: Why so?

THERAPIST: Well, you are the savior to hundreds of millions of people. People drop to their knees to worship and praise –

JESUS (interrupting): That is another thing, doc. I’m in my late 20’s. I have needs, you know. And these women show up out of the blue at my doorstep. On their knees. Jesus shoots the therapist an expectant glance. It confuses me. 

THERAPIST: I can concur, Jesus. Women come to me, too. Already on their backs, spilling their dirty secrets. The lights are low. It can take a toll on me mentally and emotionally. Sometimes I have impure thoughts.

JESUS: Yes. I know. You are a strong man. 

THERAPIST (looking at watch): Time is up, Jesus.