Jesus - A Counseling Session in One Act

JESUS: "The pressure on me, man, it’s just so overwhelming." Jesus constantly wrings fingers while talking. "Everywhere I go, eyes are on me. Watching my every move."

THERAPIST: "And how does that make you feel?"

JESUS: "It’s making me a nervous wreck. I think I’m going bald – look." He leans forward to show top of scalp, however, no bald spot is visible. "I can’t do anything without considering the repercussions. Heck, I can’t even speed on the interstate. Is that a sin? Is breaking a law designed by mortal man a sin? I don’t know, doc? I just don’t know? And He won’t tell me shhh –" Jesus stops, recalculates his phrasing, "nothing. He won’t tell me nothing." Jesus lowers his voice, turns and looks over his shoulder. "He’s so detached."

THERAPIST: "And how does that make you feel?"

JESUS: "Unloved."

THERAPIST: "Interesting."

JESUS: "Why so?"

THERAPIST: "Well, you are the savior to hundreds of millions of people. People drop to their knees to worship and praise –"

JESUS: (interrupting) "That is another thing, doc. I’m in my late 20’s. I have needs, you know. And these women show up out of the blue at my doorstep. On their knees." Jesus shoots the therapist an expectant glance. "It confuses me." 

THERAPIST: "I can concur, Jesus. Women come to me, too. Already on their backs, spilling their dirty secrets. The lights are low. It can take a toll on me mentally and emotionally. Sometimes I have impure thoughts."

JESUS: "Yes. I know. You are a strong man." 

THERAPIST: (looking at watch, swallows uncomfortably) "Time is up, Jesus."